There I am guys, confidently crossing the finish line. And look! There’s no one even close behind. That’s right. I smoked ’em! **Everybody cheers ecstatically.** Thank you, thank you, but I must be honest: That’s not me. No, unfortunately that far more handsome man is someone else — but I’m taller, so “Ha!” Also, I haven’t been on a running track since high school. (Don’t ask when that was, it’s already making me drink more than I should.) No, the victory I’m referring to with this post is over the insurmountable amount of unread posts in my inbox. What? That’s not very important? Well you try having nothing else to do in your day but ensure the cat doesn’t crap on your lawn and especially that your neighbour doesn’t crap on your lawn — again. (I understand it was in retaliation, Roger, but I’ve seen you. Those shifty eyes make me uncomfortable.)

So take that, Unread Items! You thought the battle was yours, but nay. As the knight doth slay the dragon, I conquered my equally daunting monster. As an aside, I’m working on a series of four posters featuring some animals. They’re not for a client or anything so don’t hold your breath expecting some sort of “deadline”; let’s be realistic here folks. Stay safe. (Don’t forget about those tigers!)


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