Unfortunately — or perhaps it’s fortunate — there is no large audience, and even more unfortunate is the lack of a microphone with which I might be able to gather an audience. Regardless of the attendance, I’m going to continue with my announcement, pretending that you haven’t already figured out what I’m about to say with the clear evidence provided by both the title of this post and the accompanying image: This blog is coming to an end. For those of you who require the statement being repeated again: Straight, No Chaser is ended.

I would express my sympathy, but frankly, I feel no sympathy — this blog is a broke down Pacer that had long ago ended its intended purpose, if we’re generous enough to grant it a purpose to start with. I launched my first blog inspired by what others were doing, admittedly a little late for the blogging train — I live on a physically large but fairly ignored island off the west coast of Canada guys, not exactly a pop culture mecca — and followed it with another failure or two before becoming stubborn enough to regard “failure of intended goals” as a large mole on another person’s face, meaning that it’s entertaining for a bit but you eventually need to get past it and see this mole-stained thing as a person … Wait, that’s not right. I meant that the aspirations I had for myself became unrealistic and needed to be reevaluated. Yeah, that sounds more like it. So I plugged away at this here blog for more than two years, and since having attained my new job and been in as well as overheard many discussions on topics that have brought upon much needed self-reflection — don’t worry, the end of the sentence is coming — I’m throwing in the towel.

Blogging for me is not over; in fact, far from it. I’m going to launch a new blog anonymously with a focus on writing. There are not going to be any quick links, which really are a sorry excuse for regular posting. (There are a lot of inspiration blogs out there, which are great — I mean you guys no offence — but this here blog of mine was never intended as such.) The prospect of doing things anonymously is a little exciting because I can use all the language and honesty I want. (Yes, I realize that in this day and age there is virtually no such thing as “anonymous”, but the blanket that even a small bit of mystery offers has me ready to put some verbal shit in bags and ring a few doorbells.)

So, look for me if you want, but frankly it’s probably going to end up fruitless; even if presented with the question, I intend on denying any involvement with my future blog.

Good night, and good luck.

Man, talk about a one hundred and eighty degree turn. A month ago I was puttering around with virtually nothing to do on a daily basis. Now, as well as having a full-time job, I’ve got freelance and DFM tasks as well as trying to get back into my exercise routine… I recall saying once that “I could do graphic design all day, every day,” and while I still believe I could — in theory — this recent workload that’s grown to rather impressive sizes is something of a wake up call. 

It’s been a bit of a shock coming from lazy days waking up at noon and messing around until three or four in the morning, moving to my new schedule of waking up at 7:30 am, hitting the road to drive to work just after 8:00, working from 9 – 5 pm, drive and arrive home at approx. 6:00 pm, exercising until 7:00 or 7:30, eating dinner and then working some more and keeping up w/ the internet until 10:00 or 10:30 pm. After all of this, I promptly close my laptop, pour myself a drink and throw on something to blankly stare at as I attempt to wind down before going to bed. And then it’s a repeat until the weekend. (If you found that listing of my daily schedule exhausting, that’s an intended effect.)

Anyways, while this post’s title is relevant to the subject, it’s more particularly a reference to my new favourite album: Scandalous by Black Joe Lewis & The Honeybears. With a foundation in funk and rock and a mix of blues, this album is seriously some of the best, funnest music I’ve listened to in years. Skipping only a single song in the eleven track version I have, it’s solid from front to back; that being said, there are some favourites of mine, including I’m Gonna Leave You, She’s So Scandalous and Mustang Ranch but, honestly, it’s a bit of a misdirection to list only three. I discovered this gem after a trip down to Victoria with a buddy when we happened upon a concert poster on our way to a pub. I stopped because I recognized the name Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings from a funk compilation I bought back in college — the idea that some old-school inspired funk was going to be playing in town was enough for me to proclaim this show a must-see. With a little research into the show and the opening act, Black Joe Lewis et al, it’s now been more than a week and I’ve listened to the majority of the album every day. (Yeah, I’m aware I’m toying with the potential outcome of having over-listened to it, but right now I’m a junky with an endless supply. Of rockin’ funk.)

And to close, I say get yourself a copy of Scandalous. Funk Yeah!

I just wrapped up a freelance project for a dear friend. Approaching me with the name “Hair By Steph”, we conversed a little regarding logo ideas and settled quite quickly on a signature-like approach, playing off the name. I explored a variety of type settings and ways of organizing it visually and selected the one that Steph liked immediately; seeing it applied to a business card — in a real-life context — allowed her to make a decision outside of the vacuum that occurs when seeing a logo alone, isolated on a white page. With an ecstatic review of the business cards, the approach to the site design was easy: maintain the simple colour scheme and employ some similar ornamentation. (If you’re curious, the coding was done entirely by your’s truly.)

This job went almost too smoothly, but I’m hardly regretting it. Check out the live site or see the overview of the project on my site.

You know those projects that seem to take forever? You begin, reach a certain point where you either run into an issue or simply no longer like the direction it’s taking, decide to trash it all and start over again and then repeat a few times. Weeks pass. Months. You continue plugging away until finally, you can sit back and say, “I think I’m done.” But just then you realize that, surely, after all this time and your acceptance of the fact that this project would never end, “There must be something I missed.” You pull out your fine tooth comb and go over everything, spotting a few things that could’ve been left but, since you’re there, you fix them. And then a weight is lifted almost instantly as you put the brush / pen / mouse / whatever down and tell yourself it’s complete. 

Well, I just experienced that. After some time torturing myself trying to learn Javascript, I put that aside and threw my complete faith in something more familiar, HTML and CSS, to accomplish my personal site redesign. And boy am I happy I did, because frankly, I’d probably still be learning the basics of Javascript and slowly coming to the realization that I don’t need it to accomplish virtually all of what I want to do.

So without further ado, check it out! I’d go into more detail regarding my approach but the wound is too fresh to prod any further; I may write something up in the near future but it’s not all that complicated: a more flexible four column layout based on the two column layout of my previous site. Why are you still reading this?! Seriously, check it out! Please?

(Next on my list is a redesign of this blog using my own skill — no more of these prepared templates. But don’t hold your breath, I don’t want to be responsible for any cases of death by asphyxiation.)

Man, my dogs are yawning! Normally they bark, but today they seem to be making more of a yawning noise, which is all very odd because I don’t actually work on my feet. Anyways, today officially marks One Week of Being Employed! Huzzah! I know you’re all having a lot of fun, but I’d like everyone to put their chilled spritzers down and listen up, because I’d like to make a toast. 

No, I’m not actually going to make a toast, but I will congratulate myself for having gotten through the first week despite being completely sleep deprived and sick for the latter half of the week and entire weekend. (Of course, it had to stick around for the weekend. Asshole.) While the work isn’t necessarily physically tough, it certainly requires some attention and it was a struggle at times mustering the required amounts, but today I stand proud after a day’s work feeling much better — thanks for asking, by the way. So, enough with the bush beating. What’s the job you ask?

Well, I’m glad to say that it is within my industry (Design. In. Case. You. Hadn’t. Noticed.). For the foreseeable future I’m going to be calling FriesenPress my employer, a somewhat small self-publishing company based right here in temperate Victoria, BC. While the road isn’t going to be all gold and jelly beans — that’s what the Yellow Brick Road was made from, right? — it’s going to be a good experience all in all: I’ve already learned a few tricks I hadn’t known previously and met a lot of great people. And besides, no road is ever entirely smooth is it? At least not the ones worth taking.

PS — I did not do the featured image; that was stolen quickly from a Google search and I was too lazy to do any research to discover whoever actually did it. So, get mad at me if you want, I guess.

PPS — I guess I might as well go on and fully disclose that I haven’t done a great deal of the artwork featured with my articles, if you Sherlock Holmeseses didn’t suspect it already. Sure, I’ve added some HILARIOUS bits of referential type to the images, but the core of the work has been done by some other poor sap who was unfortunate enough to be a victim of my appropriation.

I know how interested and on-the-edge-of-your-seat you all are regarding my personal site so I’ll give you an update to ease the junky-suffering-withdrawl-like symptoms. (Some or all of those hyphens may be totally incorrect. Just saying.) I’m actually making some progress on the redesign, gang!! You can’t see it but I’m jumping up and down banging some serious head. (Not that kind of banging, pervos.) The fact that I managed to overcome a few mental blocks regarding writing code is worthy of a celebration! But unfortunately nobody clicked “Attending” on my Facebook event so it’s just me. Sigh — I don’t know what I’m going to do with all these kazoos and streamers. 

Hey, speaking of Facebook, did you know that the soundtrack for The Social Network is pretty flipping amazing? Don’t worry, I’m not going to rant about how good the film is and how much you need to see it because you all have seen it — each and every one of you. But the soundtrack guys, the soundtrack! Coupled with the film it’s utterly brilliant, adding a tremendous level of emotion to what could otherwise be a fairly vapid film about some nerds getting rich. (And I suppose some not getting rich to be fair.) I snagged a copy the other day and have been listening to it virtually non-stop. It’s been great background music to clack away to as I work on lines of code — I get this sort of “I’m kind of* like Mark Zuckerberg!” except without all the asshole-iness. (I suppose you may not actually be all the asshole the movie made you out to be, Mark. But in the movie? In the movie, you’re a pretty big asshole. Then again, virtually everyone was, save for Eduardo. Eduardo seemed nice. *I wanted to draw attention to how I’m using the phrase “kind of” because, really, I’m not at all like Mark Zuckerberg except for the fact that we’ve both written some internet code, drank beer and worn hoodies.)

Do yourself a favour and check out what I consider to be my favourite track — at least as of the writing of this post. Didn’t like it? I figured. That’s so like you. Psh. Stop bothering me, I’ve got work to do.

Just got back from the doctor! What do you think? Personally, I think it’s a refreshing change. Not only do I have a new face, but I’m now also a different sex! Not a woman, per se — something new. I don’t want to go into details as it’s past your bed time anyways.

Oh, you may have noticed that the blog’s look has changed a little. I figured with a new me and this blog being a part of me, we both needed to change. Anyways, excuse us to a few growing pains as we adjust to our new selves.

G’nite! Oh, quickly, do you think I should be concerned if my face hurts? Just curious.

There I am guys, confidently crossing the finish line. And look! There’s no one even close behind. That’s right. I smoked ‘em! **Everybody cheers ecstatically.** Thank you, thank you, but I must be honest: That’s not me. No, unfortunately that far more handsome man is someone else — but I’m taller, so “Ha!” Also, I haven’t been on a running track since high school. (Don’t ask when that was, it’s already making me drink more than I should.) No, the victory I’m referring to with this post is over the insurmountable amount of unread posts in my inbox. What? That’s not very important? Well you try having nothing else to do in your day but ensure the cat doesn’t crap on your lawn and especially that your neighbour doesn’t crap on your lawn — again. (I understand it was in retaliation, Roger, but I’ve seen you. Those shifty eyes make me uncomfortable.)

So take that, Unread Items! You thought the battle was yours, but nay. As the knight doth slay the dragon, I conquered my equally daunting monster. As an aside, I’m working on a series of four posters featuring some animals. They’re not for a client or anything so don’t hold your breath expecting some sort of “deadline”; let’s be realistic here folks. Stay safe. (Don’t forget about those tigers!)

Hey, folks! It’s another week! That’s right, there was a weekend that just passed if you didn’t notice. (Don’t worry, I didn’t notice either — I’m unemployed! Hooray! (Seriously though, what’s the deal? Where’s the work, guys? Stop being so selfish and put a little on my plate, I’m starving!) Anyways, Quick Link alert!

Ignoring my ongoing projects — ugh, just doing those things is a project of its own (failed? y/n? input?) — I had to post a link to this trailer for an upcoming short by Johannes Nyholm titled Las Palmas. (What, you already knew that from the title of the post? Well excuse me mister busy pants, can’t spare re-reading a few (couple) words. (I’m sorry for having said “mister busy pants” — in hindsight that was a terrible decision and I’m sorry.)) I knew babies were messy but man! Lay off the other customers and be, you know, respectable? Even just a little? Note to self: If I’m ever a bouncer at a licensed establishment, sorry babies, not this club, ya dig? Get your dirty, over-drinking, customer-abusing selves to some other joint that doesn’t mind the trouble. Go on, get! (Side thought / concern: Do babies carry knives? It is 2011.)

Despite her — I can never really tell with babies but I’m going to say it’s safe to say it’s a girl, at least that appears to be how (s)he wants to be perceived (again, it’s 2011, let’s be accepting and supportive (go team people!)) — being totally destructive and ruining a nice evening for those poor patrons, she is equally hilarious and adorable. I am highly anticipating the completion of what looks like it could deliver some serious comedic goods.

It would appear my attempts to keep up with the online world have gotten the best of me. As previously mentioned, I’ve been refreshing my previous web skills while trying to learn some new stuff as well — I’m pointing my nasty look at you, Javascript — which has really been a huge sap on my time; one thing that took an immediate back burner was following the blogosphere. (I’m aware that some people are kept up at night by the use of the word “blogosphere”. But Michael Bay is still making movies, so until that stops there are worse evils to be sleepless over.) In the week since I really did any serious reading of the 100+ blog feeds that get pumped into my Google Reader account, I’ve managed to accumulate “1000+” unread articles. 

1000+. Awesome. That’s more than 100 posts a day, which is kind of ridiculous. I’ve been at 700 and 800 before, but 1000+ feels like the Everest of blog posts. In all honesty there are a good number I could dump pretty easily — quite a few inspiration / admiration blogs, and some that I really don’t pay any attention to anymore — but every now and then a site proves its worth and I get nervous of missing out on what’s going on. The value of religiously following things on the internet has been on my mind for some time now. On one hand, I think it important to try and learn something every day and to continue expanding your knowledge, but on the other hand I wonder how much of it is truly useful; how much do we end up just repeating instead of truly digesting? In my realm, this means taking something from I piece of design I like and employing on the next (or current) project I’m working on just because I think it’s cool, versus taking the time to think about why it was used and how to perhaps create something similar for another, relevant project.

I’m still trying to understand the basics of the alien language known as Javascript, but I’m chiselling away. Slowly but surely.